When the Other Shoe Drops

When the Other Shoe Drops

December 1, 2016 | Posted in: Caregivers, Chronic Illness and Diagnosis

Not long ago, I sat with my daughter on my lap, holding her arms down while she screamed. The first attempt at a blood draw had failed and we were moving on to the second arm. She’ll be five next month.

She usually does quite well with these things. She hops up into the chair, thrusts her arm upon the attendant and begins discussing her prize options. And that’s how this day had begun as well. But then they couldn’t find a vein, and then the pesky vein wouldn’t cooperate, and she didn’t want to do it again. And these tests were important. So I held her down and I prayed the tests told us what we needed to know. And then she got two prizes, one for each arm.

But now, I sort of wish those tests hadn’t told us what they did- that my daughter has Lyme disease. They sent the tests to three different labs to be sure, and they are quite sure. She is CDC positive.

Her symptoms have felt like one of those snowballs you watch on a cartoon, picking up mass and speed over time, but they were also eerily familiar at times. Not that I have ever run a fever every day for weeks on end, and I will forever love her immune system for the fight it’s putting up, but other pieces, things she said put a chill down my spine.

I confess to you that I took a couple of days to let myself be utterly gutted, to hope and pray with all of my might that her journey would look nothing like mine.

In truth, I know nothing about what her journey will look like. Here’s what I do know: her immune system is fighting hard and that is good, that fight led us to the source of infection and now we can fight alongside her, taking her to the right doctors, getting her the right treatments and support her body needs. I know God will never leave or forsake her or us, that his plans for her and us are good. I know that she is funny and confident and strong and a walking Lyme disease awareness campaign despite the fact she doesn’t know she has it. (We haven’t yet figured out how or when to talk to her about this diagnosis. Maybe we will call it Lyme, maybe we won’t.)

Some will ask if we ever removed a tick from her body. We did not. I did, however, carry her in my very symptomatic body which had not yet been treated, but did have Lyme. Maybe she got bit by a tick we didn’t see; maybe it was passed in utero. We don’t know. So, we may not know how the story began, but we know how it ends. We come out stronger.

We’d love your prayers, but not your product pushing. Please allow us to provide Avery with the care and products we feel are best for her in this time, after much research, prayer and consideration.

Whatever you are fighting today, however the story began, may you come out stronger as the story ends. Click To Tweet

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8 Comments

  1. Jacki Farley
    December 1, 2016

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    You will come out stronger! And The Lord will be glorified!

  2. Robin Lee
    December 1, 2016

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    I know that God loves you and that His plans are better, but I am sorry. I wanted simplicity for you…so much love.

    • Stacey Philpot
      January 18, 2017

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      Simplicity is also awesome 🙂

  3. Valerie
    December 1, 2016

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    Dear Stacey, I am so sorry that your dear little one is suffering with Lyme. I have a five year old daughter too, who I carried while I was unknowingly sick with Lyme and untreated. Now she constantly complains of pains and feeling unwell. I am so afraid to get her tested, but know that it needs to be done. Thank you so much for sharing this. I will be thinking of you and wishing you both healing and strength. Hugs from one Lymie to another…Valerie

    • Stacey Philpot
      January 18, 2017

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      Valerie,

      I’m so sorry to hear about your little one. I will be praying for her as well. I think for me, the testing was ultimately a gift– even if I couldn’t see it as such right away. It gave me a sense of direction and it unmasked the monster we were fighting. Now we know, we have direction. The monster has less power, if that makes sense.

      Lyme is an ugly beast. But it’s one we’re taking down.

  4. Pam Tegelhutter
    December 1, 2016

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    Stacey, I am so sorry to hear this. I will continue to pray for you & your baby girl. Your are loved & many are praying, His love never fails!

  5. Mary Kay Moody
    December 2, 2016

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    Oh, Stacey,

    I’m so sorry to hear this for your precious Avery, and you all, indeed, have my prayers. Even 40 years later, I remember the heartache of holding down a terrified child for medical pros to do their work. (Ours was not chronic, though. “merely” severe pneumonia and spinal tap on a two-year-old.)

    I love how you describe how she typically ~ “hops up into the chair, thrusts her arm upon the attendant and begins discussing her prize options.” Having watched a Dolly Parton special last night, that chirpy little sprite is what I see as you describe Avery.

    May our prayers help you float through the tough days.

  6. Stacey Philpot
    January 18, 2017

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    Mary-

    That sounds terrible and it breaks my heart!

    Thank you for your kind words and your prayers!

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