Viewing: Grief

Nov 6

November 6, 2016

How to Cultivate Gratitude in the Midst of Hardship

How to Cultivate Gratitude in the Midst of Hardship

2012 was that year.  The Murphey’s Law year.  Everything that could go wrong did, and it took everything we had to survive it…literally. It was the third year of my son’s leukemia treatment, the total duration of which lasted over 3 years.  Additionally, I started out the year with mono and thyroid failure, which I attribute to the enormous stress of parenting... Read more

Posted in Coping, Disability, Faith, Grief, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Care, Special Needs Parenting | By

Jun 6

June 6, 2016

When Chronic Illness Makes You Angry

When Chronic Illness Makes You Angry

Summer makes me angry. For so many around me, it signifies the exciting beginning of evening meals made on the grill, family trips to the water park or theme parks, day trips to the zoo, long days by the pool or beach, lazily working on their tan. For me it signals the beginning of days upon days spent inside, days... Read more

Posted in Anger, Chronic Life, Grief | By

May 12

May 12, 2016

Suicide, Anger and Forgiveness- How I'm Healing

Suicide, Anger and Forgiveness-How I’m Healing

In 2006, I booked a weekend alone at a resort on the beach in Santa Cruz, California. The entire purpose of the trip was to do something I had been working on for quite some time: forgive my mom. I had spent fifteen years being incredibly angry with my mom and I realized my anger was only hurting myself, not her.... Read more

Posted in Grief, Mental Illness, Relationships | By

Apr 11

April 11, 2016

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Meeting Others In Their Pain

Today, the five of us sat at the table, eating lunch and talking about death. Sometimes laughing and at other times in tenuous, heavy tones— we talked about what we’d want our funerals to look like and how we felt about the ones we’d been to. I’m not sure how the conversation led us to this place, but I’m also... Read more

Posted in Chronic illness and relationships, chronic illness; support, Grief, Parenting and Chronic Illness, Relationships | By

Feb 15

February 15, 2016

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How To Fall In Love With The Life You Have

We all need those things that anchor us on the bad days that bring us back to what matters. The problem with the bad days is that they’re rather foggy. The bad has its mystical way of crowding out the good. It’s like playing hide-and-go-seek with a toddler at nap time. You go searching for the good but it’s fallen... Read more

Posted in Chronic illness and relationships, Chronic Life, Grief | By

Feb 11

February 11, 2016

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How I Fought To Be A Better Mom

I know everyone thinks their kid is the best, I do. But if you just knew my oldest, I’m certain you’d agree.   He’s such a ridiculously good kid.   This is not something I feel I can take much credit for, as the fiber of Hayden’s being has always been inherently good.   He delights in celebrating people, loving extravagantly,... Read more

Posted in Chronic Illness and Diagnosis, Chronic illness and relationships, Grief, Love, Parenting and Chronic Illness, Relationships | By

Feb 1

February 1, 2016

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When No One Wants To Build a Snowman

Quieres hacer un muñeco?   Don’t speak Spanish? Maybe the English words will be much, much more familiar to you. “Do you wanna build a snowman . . .” Yeah, sorry. Now the song is stuck. I have three daughters, and they (and I) loved Frozen so much the youngest really did learn this song in Spanish. Whether or not... Read more

Posted in Grief, Mental Illness, Parenting and Chronic Illness, Relationships | By

Jan 23

January 23, 2016

Can I Have A New Mom?

We Don’t Get to Pick

Yesterday was hard.   I just need to stick a stake in the cold, hard ground and mark that from the start.   Not so much because of what happened, as much as how it wrecked me.   From the time Avery was born, when I saw that fleshly little girl and took her in with majestic awe and wonder,... Read more

Posted in Chronic Illness and Diagnosis, Chronic illness and relationships, Grief, Love, Parenting and Chronic Illness | By

Jan 7

January 7, 2016

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Broken Together

How I wish we could go back to simpler times Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines Will we make it through the night? It’s going to take more much more than promises this time Only G-d can change our minds   Maybe you and... Read more

Posted in Chronic illness and relationships, chronic illness; support, Grief, Love, Marriage, Parenting and Chronic Illness | By

Dec 13

December 13, 2015

Coping With-4

Coping With Grief and The Holidays

When my oldest, Hayden, was small we filled the holiday season with festivities. Christmas cookies in pajamas, visiting Santa, driving around at night to look at the Christmas lights, watching our favorite Christmas movies, making and wrapping gifts…these were just a few of our favorite activities. My social media feeds are filled with smiley-faced people doing these exact things. And... Read more

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