Can I Have A New Mom?

Can I Have a New Mom?

January 20, 2017 | Posted in: chronic illness; support

We sat around our well-worn kitchen table, my four-year-old excitedly reporting on the fun she’d had that day at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. There had been nature walks and scavenger hunts, pool-time and even bowling. I strained to hold my body up and utter whole sentences in response while we ate the take-out my husband had purchased on the way home. I reached deep into the depths of my being to extricate excitement, follow-up questions, silliness-you know, all the things a four- year-old desires during these sorts of conversations. The thing is, I just didn’t have it to give.

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Can I Have A New Mom?

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2 Comments

  1. Jayne
    January 28, 2017

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    Oh that’s heartbreaking. I chose not to have children because of my undiagnosed problems but I wanted to adopt. There was even a pair of siblings I picked off a photolisting. I would stare at their faces every day.
    When my niece was born, with tears in my eyes, I whispered in her ear, “I’ve never bonded to a baby because I knew I’d never have one. You will be my first, ok? I will love you from right now”
    Soon after I got really sick for months. Severe asthma mostly but because they tried antibiotics my sister and brother-in-law didn’t allow me to come around. I have never been able to love her or her sisters the same since.

  2. Stacey Philpot
    January 29, 2017

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    We deeply wanted to adopt as well. We haven’t been able to but we try to advocate for and support adoptive families as much as we can.
    I bet that sweet love you spoke into your niece took root in her heart and is still growing there, even if she doesn’t know it came from you. We have a lot more love to give then people realize.

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